Two people looking at the same thing never see the same thing.
Because it's Spring and I'm a Cubs fan, I’m going to use a baseball analogy. If we’re watching the same baseball game, we both understand the “rules” of the baseball game. There is a diamond, containing a pitcher’s mound, home base, and 3 bases. There is an infield and an outfield. If there are four “balls” thrown to the batter, then the batter walks. If there are three “strikes,” then the batter is out. Three outs, and the half-inning is over. The most runs scored wins.
Still, we see a different game. Maybe we’re cheering for different teams. Maybe we have different favorite players. Maybe you see a strike, and I see a ball. (Of course, all that really matters is what the umpire sees...)
We also bring different visceral meaning to the game. If we’re at the game, there are smells and sounds that are different from watching the game at home or in a bar. Maybe you have memories of sneaking into games with your friends as a child. Maybe attending baseball games was a special event that I shared with my brother. Maybe you played baseball in college and attending games reminds you of your glory days. All of these different scenarios make “how” we see the game different and unique for each one of us.
This is where misunderstandings originate.
The next time you are having trouble understanding another person, simply ask, “How did you see that?” It’s a great way to open up a conversation and understand what each other is really seeing.
© 2017, Susan McCuistion